Wednesday 18 March 2009

Over the hill


There it was a hill of great mass
I was hoping the walk would tone my ass
As I began to ascend my face glowed red
And all my blood rushed to my head

Daisy pretended to not notice my plight
I was gasping for breath or was it the height
Of the Wrekin which to me is ever so big
Especially as I'm as fat as a pig!

I struggled and wobbled to the top of that beast
It must have been the the McDonalds for lunch we did feast
Hollie showed concern she thought I would die
For ever on top of that hill I would lie

But I made it up and over that hill
And after swallowed a pain relieving pill
My legs did hurt and made me sway
But I felt much better the very next day

The memories of David hitting that dog
Makes my mind hurt and begin to fog
I made all of this up of course - I don't want a fight
I'm sure Daisy is keen I put right this wrong right

So I will oblige and correct you all
David was pratting around and not nasty at all
He's just a big kid who hangs off trees
And has crunchy, nobbly and painful knees

I look forward to walking again with my friends
Hopefully this time I will not get the bends
My lovely daughter is also our new walking pal
What can I say she a hell of a gal!

Sunday 8 March 2009

Induction

This week I suffered an induction course
The temptation to yawn an overpowering force
Though I struggled at times I enjoyed my time
Learning skills a new and new friends are mine

There was John a fish as mad as can be
And James both big softies that I could see
Through their playful behaviour and boyish fun
I knew they had good hearts - pardon the pun

I now know good things like CPR
So if you're in trouble I will not be far
For your sake though I hope its not your heart
That requires me to pump it and let me restart

I also know icky infection control
Those bugs are everywhere like a toilet bowl
I am paranoid now that my toothbrush is full
Of pee and shit when the toilet handle I pull

And then there was the woman who came out
And for policy writing at me she did shout
I was actually impressed at how brave
She was to do what she did and her life she did save

I really did like my induction course time
I listened to get those new skills of mine
So now it is back to my new spangled job
To earn all those pennies and a few hundred bob